Post by Admin on Nov 1, 2022 20:39:18 GMT
The matchday programme for each home game is packed full of interesting articles, photos and information. It's usually at least 50 pages long. It often appears for sale on ebay within a short time after the game. There's also regular humour and this is Dorset Dave's Chuckle Corner from the Slimbridge game.
Slimbridge is a village and civil parish near Dursley in Gloucestershire, England. It is best known as the home of the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust's Slimbridge Reserve which was started in 1946 by Sir Peter Scott. [ Son of the explorer, Scott of the Antarctic ]
The Gloucester and Sharpness Canal runs through the village, and under Patch Bridge which must be crossed to reach the Wildfowl Trust.
Slimbridge AFC play at Thornhill Park, named after a former chairman Evi Thornhill who gave the land to the club. It is situated not in Slimbridge but just over the A38 in nearby Cambridge.
The distance from Thornhill Park stadium to the New Cuthbury is approx 89 miles [via A36]
Q. What time do Ducks Get up ? A. At the quack of Dawn
Did you hear about the Duck who suffered a nervous breakdown. He began quacking up.
Q. Why do ducks never grow up ? A. Because they grow down
Q. What do you call a Duck that breaks into people's houses ? A. A Robber Duck
A Duck, A Skunk and a Deer went out for a meal. When it came to paying for it the Skunk didnt have a cent, the Deer didnt have a buck, so they put it all on the Ducks bill
Did you hear about the Duck drug dealer. He was selling quack
When will Ryan Gosling be old enough to be called Ryan Goose?
I saw 5 seabirds on a roof singing. They were Spice Gulls
It is my sad duty to report the death of my granddad, who was run over by a boat whilst swimming in a canal in Venice...
Thank you to all those people who have already sent their gondolences.
A man got a job sweeping the floor in a factory. He kept going back to the Foreman cos the head of the broom kept falling off. The Foreman got fed up with this and told the man if he came back again about it he would get the sack. The man did come back with the same problem and the Foreman told him he was sacked. The man said thats unfair - this time the handle fell off.
During a game the referee found himself being heckled constantly by one particular member of the crowd.
He turned a blind eye but when the heckler yelled " That was clearly a foul. Are you blind ref ? "
The ref could stand it no longer and and marched up to the spectator and shouted angrily " What did you say ?"
The heckler replied " Blimey ! Not only is he blind but he seems to be deaf as well "
Two referees went for a walk in the country. On their way they noticed some tracks. The first referee said " Are those motorbike tracks"
The second refereee said " No, theyre definitely tractor tracks"
However the conversation ended abruptly when an express train hit them.
Mike had always played his football in the Sunday League. This troubled his wife, so she asked the vicar whether it was a sin
to play on a Sunday. " Its not a sin " replied the vicar " But the way he plays it's a crime ! "
Some Football Quotes:-
“That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post.” Michael Owen
“Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds…totally against the run of play”. Peter Lorenzo
“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel” Stuart Pearce
“Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp with laying on 75% of their nine goals” Tony Gubba
I don’t have any tattoos, but that’s mainly because none of my limbs are wide enough to support a visible image.” Peter Crouch
“We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought” Bobby Robson
Slimbridge is a village and civil parish near Dursley in Gloucestershire, England. It is best known as the home of the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust's Slimbridge Reserve which was started in 1946 by Sir Peter Scott. [ Son of the explorer, Scott of the Antarctic ]
The Gloucester and Sharpness Canal runs through the village, and under Patch Bridge which must be crossed to reach the Wildfowl Trust.
Slimbridge AFC play at Thornhill Park, named after a former chairman Evi Thornhill who gave the land to the club. It is situated not in Slimbridge but just over the A38 in nearby Cambridge.
The distance from Thornhill Park stadium to the New Cuthbury is approx 89 miles [via A36]
Q. What time do Ducks Get up ? A. At the quack of Dawn
Did you hear about the Duck who suffered a nervous breakdown. He began quacking up.
Q. Why do ducks never grow up ? A. Because they grow down
Q. What do you call a Duck that breaks into people's houses ? A. A Robber Duck
A Duck, A Skunk and a Deer went out for a meal. When it came to paying for it the Skunk didnt have a cent, the Deer didnt have a buck, so they put it all on the Ducks bill
Did you hear about the Duck drug dealer. He was selling quack
When will Ryan Gosling be old enough to be called Ryan Goose?
I saw 5 seabirds on a roof singing. They were Spice Gulls
It is my sad duty to report the death of my granddad, who was run over by a boat whilst swimming in a canal in Venice...
Thank you to all those people who have already sent their gondolences.
A man got a job sweeping the floor in a factory. He kept going back to the Foreman cos the head of the broom kept falling off. The Foreman got fed up with this and told the man if he came back again about it he would get the sack. The man did come back with the same problem and the Foreman told him he was sacked. The man said thats unfair - this time the handle fell off.
During a game the referee found himself being heckled constantly by one particular member of the crowd.
He turned a blind eye but when the heckler yelled " That was clearly a foul. Are you blind ref ? "
The ref could stand it no longer and and marched up to the spectator and shouted angrily " What did you say ?"
The heckler replied " Blimey ! Not only is he blind but he seems to be deaf as well "
Two referees went for a walk in the country. On their way they noticed some tracks. The first referee said " Are those motorbike tracks"
The second refereee said " No, theyre definitely tractor tracks"
However the conversation ended abruptly when an express train hit them.
Mike had always played his football in the Sunday League. This troubled his wife, so she asked the vicar whether it was a sin
to play on a Sunday. " Its not a sin " replied the vicar " But the way he plays it's a crime ! "
Some Football Quotes:-
“That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post.” Michael Owen
“Hodge scored for Forest after 22 seconds…totally against the run of play”. Peter Lorenzo
“I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel” Stuart Pearce
“Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp with laying on 75% of their nine goals” Tony Gubba
I don’t have any tattoos, but that’s mainly because none of my limbs are wide enough to support a visible image.” Peter Crouch
“We didn’t underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought” Bobby Robson
