Post by Admin on Jun 18, 2022 6:16:10 GMT
This is from a past 'Dorset Dave's Chuckle Corner' in the Matchday programme, when we played Merthyr Town. We wont be playing them in the coming season as, due to the demise of Walton Casuals, they have had a reprieve from relegation. A lot of the time during last season we were very close to them in terms of points. I wonder if it would have made any difference if we had known we might have got reprieved.
Merthyr Tydfil is a large town in Glamorgan, Wales, with a population of about 63,546, situated approximately 23 miles north of Cardiff.
According to legend, the town is named after Tydfil, a daughter of King Brychan of Brycheiniog. According to her legend, she was slain at Merthyr by pagans around 480; the place was subsequently named Merthyr Tydfil in her honour.
Although merthyr generally means "martyr" in modern Welsh, the meaning here is closer to the Latin martyrium: the mausoleum or church built over the relics of a martyr
An Englishman, Scotsman and Welshman walk into a bar. Each orders a pint of Brain’s but, as they’re served, a fly lands in each pint.The Englishman immediately pushes his beer away in disgust.The Scotsman thinks for a few seconds, shrugs, and also pushes the pint away.The Welshman turns bright red, picks the fly out of the beer and holds it over his glass shouting: “SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!”
A prominent Welsh minister travelling home one night was greatly annoyed when a young man much the worse for drink came and sat next to him on the bus.“Young man,” he declared, “do you not realise you are on the road to perdition?”“Oh, hell,” replied the drunkard. “I could have sworn this was the bus to Llanelli.”
A Russian spy was dropped by parachute in the Welsh hills with instructions to contact a Mr Jones in the small village of Llanfair and give him the coded message: “The tulips are blooming well today.”Arriving at the village he asked a small boy where Mr Jones lived and was directed to a small cottage.He knocked on the door and the owner emerged: “Are you Mr Jones?”“I am."“The tulips are blooming well today.”Mr Jones stared at him in amazement then smiled: “Ah, you must have the wrong house. “It's Jones the Spy you want.”
My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch. I said “How can you say such a thing?”
Young Dylan comes home from school and tells his mother he’s been given a part in the school play.“Wonderful,“ says his mam. “What part is it?”The boy says: “I play the part of the Welsh husband.”The mother scowls and says: “Go back and tell them you want a speaking part.”
I live in London and people often say to me: “You miss Wales?” I say: “No, I look nothing like her. She’s got long blonde hair and wears a sash.”
After his election win, Dai insisted on everyone calling him Councillor Jones.Coming back late from the pub after celebrating, he made a right noise trying to get into his house.“Is that you Dai?” shouted his wife down the stairs.“Certainly not,” he replied drunkenly. “It's Councillor Jones.”“Well, come up quick then, we've only got a few minutes before Dai comes back from the pub.”
There was a young lady from Merthyr
Who wanted a man that was worth her
Though fat as a ship
She began to strip
He said - Stop - don't go any further
Merthyr Tydfil is a large town in Glamorgan, Wales, with a population of about 63,546, situated approximately 23 miles north of Cardiff.
According to legend, the town is named after Tydfil, a daughter of King Brychan of Brycheiniog. According to her legend, she was slain at Merthyr by pagans around 480; the place was subsequently named Merthyr Tydfil in her honour.
Although merthyr generally means "martyr" in modern Welsh, the meaning here is closer to the Latin martyrium: the mausoleum or church built over the relics of a martyr
An Englishman, Scotsman and Welshman walk into a bar. Each orders a pint of Brain’s but, as they’re served, a fly lands in each pint.The Englishman immediately pushes his beer away in disgust.The Scotsman thinks for a few seconds, shrugs, and also pushes the pint away.The Welshman turns bright red, picks the fly out of the beer and holds it over his glass shouting: “SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!”
A prominent Welsh minister travelling home one night was greatly annoyed when a young man much the worse for drink came and sat next to him on the bus.“Young man,” he declared, “do you not realise you are on the road to perdition?”“Oh, hell,” replied the drunkard. “I could have sworn this was the bus to Llanelli.”
A Russian spy was dropped by parachute in the Welsh hills with instructions to contact a Mr Jones in the small village of Llanfair and give him the coded message: “The tulips are blooming well today.”Arriving at the village he asked a small boy where Mr Jones lived and was directed to a small cottage.He knocked on the door and the owner emerged: “Are you Mr Jones?”“I am."“The tulips are blooming well today.”Mr Jones stared at him in amazement then smiled: “Ah, you must have the wrong house. “It's Jones the Spy you want.”
My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch. I said “How can you say such a thing?”
Young Dylan comes home from school and tells his mother he’s been given a part in the school play.“Wonderful,“ says his mam. “What part is it?”The boy says: “I play the part of the Welsh husband.”The mother scowls and says: “Go back and tell them you want a speaking part.”
I live in London and people often say to me: “You miss Wales?” I say: “No, I look nothing like her. She’s got long blonde hair and wears a sash.”
After his election win, Dai insisted on everyone calling him Councillor Jones.Coming back late from the pub after celebrating, he made a right noise trying to get into his house.“Is that you Dai?” shouted his wife down the stairs.“Certainly not,” he replied drunkenly. “It's Councillor Jones.”“Well, come up quick then, we've only got a few minutes before Dai comes back from the pub.”
There was a young lady from Merthyr
Who wanted a man that was worth her
Though fat as a ship
She began to strip
He said - Stop - don't go any further