Post by Admin on Jun 3, 2022 11:28:58 GMT
With a lull in proceedings at the moment here is another of Dorset Dave's Chuckle Corners. This one appeared in the Blackfield & Langley matchday programme of the curtailed 20/21 season
Blackfield is a village in Hampshire England. It is within the parish of Fawley, and encompasses the small village of Langley.
The name "Blackfields" was originally applied to an area of countryside near the village of Fawley, and there is still a Blackwell Common next to Blackfield. The name presumably derives from the soil colour, some of which is marshy and black. The settlement of Blackfield began in the late 19th century when, at first mud cottages, and then later, small red-brick houses were built in the area of moorland once known as Hugh's Common. It was close to the small village of Langley, and since the 19th century Blackfield has grown to encompass Langley.
Blackfield & Langley FC play at Gang Warily Recreation & Community Centre which is 36 miles from Cuthbury.
A woman who is feeling very ill goes to the doctor.
After a long examination, the doctor says "You seem to have a very serious disease, and I don't think I can do anything to save you. I give you no more than one week to live"
The woman, desperate, begs him "Are you really sure there isn't any drug that can help me ?"
The doctor thinks for a minute and says "Well, ok, you can try taking mud baths 5 times a day"
The woman, with a big smile and a new hope says "Ok, that seems feasible. Are you sure that can cure my disease ?"
The doctor answers "Oh no, that won't cure you, but at least you'll get used to being in the earth."
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser.
When I was a child I had a condition where I had to eat mud three times a day in order to survive...It’s lucky my older brother told me about it, really.
My wife tried one of those expensive beauty mud packs on her face and it worked! Till she took it off.
A man and a pile of mud begin to race...The mud won by a landslide.
My son played soccer in the mud all day.He was a little Messi.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Johnny played in the mud.
Want to hear a clean joke?
Johnny took a bath with bubbles.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles was a girl.
Went skydiving today for the first time. This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane and as we plummeted, he shouted, "So, how long have you been an instructor?"
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bed sheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
A slice of Apple Pie is £2.50 in Jamaica, £2.75 in Aruba and £3.00 in the Bahamas. Those are the the pie rates of the Caribbean
I once chased a thief who stole my favourite board game. It was a trivial pursuit
They asked for volunteers at the cow birthing class - so I put my hand up
Really enjoyed reading Boris Johnson's book on ethics. I can't wait for his next one about Kent!
Blackfield is a village in Hampshire England. It is within the parish of Fawley, and encompasses the small village of Langley.
The name "Blackfields" was originally applied to an area of countryside near the village of Fawley, and there is still a Blackwell Common next to Blackfield. The name presumably derives from the soil colour, some of which is marshy and black. The settlement of Blackfield began in the late 19th century when, at first mud cottages, and then later, small red-brick houses were built in the area of moorland once known as Hugh's Common. It was close to the small village of Langley, and since the 19th century Blackfield has grown to encompass Langley.
Blackfield & Langley FC play at Gang Warily Recreation & Community Centre which is 36 miles from Cuthbury.
A woman who is feeling very ill goes to the doctor.
After a long examination, the doctor says "You seem to have a very serious disease, and I don't think I can do anything to save you. I give you no more than one week to live"
The woman, desperate, begs him "Are you really sure there isn't any drug that can help me ?"
The doctor thinks for a minute and says "Well, ok, you can try taking mud baths 5 times a day"
The woman, with a big smile and a new hope says "Ok, that seems feasible. Are you sure that can cure my disease ?"
The doctor answers "Oh no, that won't cure you, but at least you'll get used to being in the earth."
Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross the road again?
Because he was a dirty double-crosser.
When I was a child I had a condition where I had to eat mud three times a day in order to survive...It’s lucky my older brother told me about it, really.
My wife tried one of those expensive beauty mud packs on her face and it worked! Till she took it off.
A man and a pile of mud begin to race...The mud won by a landslide.
My son played soccer in the mud all day.He was a little Messi.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Johnny played in the mud.
Want to hear a clean joke?
Johnny took a bath with bubbles.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles was a girl.
Went skydiving today for the first time. This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane and as we plummeted, he shouted, "So, how long have you been an instructor?"
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bed sheet over it. I think I managed to cover my tracks.
A slice of Apple Pie is £2.50 in Jamaica, £2.75 in Aruba and £3.00 in the Bahamas. Those are the the pie rates of the Caribbean
I once chased a thief who stole my favourite board game. It was a trivial pursuit
They asked for volunteers at the cow birthing class - so I put my hand up
Really enjoyed reading Boris Johnson's book on ethics. I can't wait for his next one about Kent!